If you want to be in a better couple relationship—here’s a news flash—BE NICER!
This seems like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised. Men and women have been bickering since that incident with the apple.
I often tell my couple psychotherapy clients that I’d like to stamp three words on their foreheads—backwards—so they can read them when they look in the mirror.
There are way too many people who are disrespectful, mean, and self-centered. I like Dr. Phil’s bluntness: “How’s that workin’ for you?”
Marriage should be a safe haven.
Now, I believe the principle that everything makes sense—it may not work, and you may not deserve it—but there’s a reason people think, feel, and do everything.
We think and act based on anger, hurt, fear, lack of self-esteem, arrogance—a pile of junk—some of it old, some of it new.
The point is, even if it’s familiar, neither you, nor your spouse deserve it.
The first step is to recognize what isn’t workin’ for you—and then start changing what you think and what you do.
BTW, I didn’t say that would be easy—just worth it.
For more about couple therapy, read “A Little Couple Psychology”.