Here’s a picture of our cats, Wadi and Lulu—fighting. Bear in mind, they’re brother and sister, and they’ve obviously known each other their entire lives. Yet they still fight.
If you want to see them not fighting, check out the Family Album page.
In therapy, I’ve often said couples are like my cats. They know each other —they love each other—but for some reason, one of them looks wrong at the other, the hackles go up, and they’re off and fighting.
In session, sometimes I just want to yell, “KNOCK IT OFF!” I do yell that at Wadi.
Effective couple therapy often lasts a number of months to make sure the couple learns how to handle, and recover from, episodes where hackles get raised.
My motto in therapy is—there’s a reason people think, feel, and do everything—however, it may not work, and you may not deserve it. What that means is that it’s no mystery why people behave the way they do, although it may be hidden deep in the recesses of one’s brain.
Stay tuned for more on this.
So there’s a reason Wadi picked on his sister this particular day, but he’s not saying what it is.